(This is what you could've found on my myspace blog last night. Some what similar to what I wrote on here, but different as well.)
Turning Twenty.
To some of you, it's really no big deal. To people like me, it's extremely odd. No, not odd. I'm not sure of the word I am looking for, but it's different this time around. Twenty. Still young, but it is now a whole new decade.
There's no turning back. I am officially an adult now. No more calling myself a teenager. I am in the "20's" as most people would say, though I still have the zero at the end. I haven't changed. I will never changed. The only thing from here on out is more responsibilities and challenges in life. In a way, I'm kind of excited. It's like a whole new level in this game of life.
When I look back at how I used to think when I was younger, before I hit high school, I never cared much about the whole marriage thing. I didn't pretend to be married or have a fake wedding. I never fantasized about how perfect everything was going to be. But as the years went on I began to notice that I was beginning to have hopes and expectations of that perfect wedding and true love by the age of 22 or 23. Now that it's only two/three years away, it makes me wonder. Will it ever happen like that? Will I be someone who doesn't marry til they're in their late 20s? Rushing to have kids because her "clock is ticking"? That's not exactly how I want it to be. It's so hard to explain. I've had enough experiences in life that I wouldn't mind re-living, but what I want most of all to happen soon is to be with that one person. It'd put a spin on things. It'd make life a little more interesting. It'd make me feel complete.
"You're still young". No, my age is young. Does that guarantee me a whole 60 extra years to live? Not necessarily. Hell, I could die tomorrow. Hopefully that'll never happen any time soon, but the point I am getting at is that my age may be young, but my mind, hopes, expectations, etc aren't. I will always be that care-free girl who lives and would do anything to make it in life, but having someone by my side the entire time would be simply wonderful. And until that happens, I won't be feel successful.
I have no idea why I felt the need to write this. Kind of makes me laugh at myself for always thinking one thing but writing about another. I wasn't going for the whole "spending my life with someone" thing. It just happened. I'm silly as most of you all ready know.
Random thoughts and writing is what I do best. There's no doubt about that.
